Mirrored Maze
by GraveyardIntern
Summary: Sequel to Spiral Staircase


**Chapter 1: Photograph**

Gil knew he was considered to be harsh and mean, in a way. He knew this was going to prove them right but he couldn't do it anymore. He just couldn't pretend anymore.

The night of the Christmas Party, Gil had run out of the building as soon as he could after his reality check. He drove Sara to her house without a word, gave her a good-night kiss and sent her in. He had sprinted to his car and drove home, and run into the house, slamming the door after him. He didn't even make a step away from the door. He just slid down, grasping his face with his hands. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he slammed his fist on the floor and was already thinking up excuses for the bruise that was to appear later in the day. He decided then, that he would have to do something about his state of deception.

The day after the party was 2 weeks before Christmas but people kept dying. Gil briskly walked into work, holding the files in his left hand and fixing his glasses with the other. He walked into his office and threw the files on his desk. He went around it, and sat himself down. He saw 2 white sheets which meant more assignments. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the long night ahead. As he was about to look for the team, Catherine came in the office.

"Hey!" Gil exclaimed.

"Hey. You left early the other night."

"No I didn't. It was the first time I've stayed that long at a party." Gil replied, smiling. He then saw the clothing that she had in her hand; his jacket. "I forgot about that." The memories of them outside flooded back to him and he tried to blink them away.

"Here. It did the job Thank you." He watched a smile form on her lips and he gladly returned it. Catherine slowly handed it to him and as Gil took it, he could feel the warmth of her hand on the jacket. He threw it on one of the chairs and led her out.

Catherine thought she just might go crazy.

Warrick, Cath, Gil and Sara were driving to a homicide in the Bellagio, and somehow Gil had retreated from his usual position in the front passenger seat, to the back seat with Sara. Catherine could hear them, actually just Sara, giggling about nothing in particular. She wondered if Gil found this funny, and literally held herself back from looking at them. Warrick would occasionally glare at them through the mirror and shake his head. Catherine wanted to destroy her imagination.

The moment the car came to a stop, Catherine threw the door open and jumped off the car. She received a doubtful look from Warrick, and she knew she had been too obvious. But when the couple were out of the car, it was a different story. Their expressions became rigid and cold, and Catherine told herself that she needed to be professional right now, and decided she'd grumble over it at home.

Gil sent Sara to go door-to-door, because Brass had to head over to another scene near the Bellagio. Warrick was sent to security to collect the surveillance tapes. Catherine and Gil headed into the crime scene. Cath bent down to photograph the blood spatter on the floor for further reviews and headed in the bathroom. Gil skimmed his flashlight over the bed, watching David do the prelim on the body. Gil met Catherine in the bathroom, already swabbing the drains.

"Anything?" Gil asked. Catherine shook her head.

"Nothing." She stood up, to come face-to-face with him. He looked at her, and she knew he was looking for an answer, or a possible clue. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm not thinking. I'm just looking." Gil replied. He headed back over to David. "David?"

"Found an ID in his pockets. Matthew Ronwood, local."

"Local?" A male victim in one of the best hotels in Vegas, who lives in Vegas could only mean one thing: marriage trouble.

"Yeah. He's got what looks like wedding ring, so he's probably married. One bullet went in, and didn't come out, which we will have soon. The one shot was fatal." David reported. Gil nodded and the coronary team guided the victim out.

The smell of iron was getting stronger and Gil stepped outside. He heard Catherine come up behind him, her steps ringing with a slight excitement buried in it and Gil raised an eyebrow.

"Gil, I found the weapon." He turned and Catherine was holding what seemed like a Glock, .22. He briefly smiled.

"Good work Catherine." He replied. "So, our victim was local, married, and alone in a big hotel room." He looked at Catherine to draw the conclusion.

"I smell an angry spouse."

**Chapter 2: They Can't Take that Away from Me**

"How did it go?"

Gil looked at Catherine, who had a triumphant smile on her face. He was in the middle of his ever-so-tedious paperwork and she had knocked on his office door. She came to sit on the edge of his desk and winked at him.

"It went fine. The wife, learning about the husband's affair, hired a hit man and the hit man didn't do such a good job. It was piece of cake." Catherine reported and Gil nodded.

"Good work."

"I know." She replied, drawing a slight frown from Gil. They laughed, but the laughter was cut short by Sara's entrance. Sara, seeing Catherine in her supposed place, stopped abruptly in the doorway.

"Catherine."

"Sara." Catherine greeted and she gave Gil one last raise of her eyebrows as she exited his office. The moment Catherine stepped out, Sara shut the door and Catherine closed her eyes. She wanted so much to turn around, open the door and interrupt, but she could not do it, afraid that she might be a cause for Gil's unhappiness. She hated the fact that Sara would not allow her to be with Gil even for a second, but Catherine knew she couldn't do anything about it. Sara _was _his girlfriend, after all. She sighed and not wanting to draw any attention from the other staff in the building, she headed to the break room where she met Nick and Greg, playing video games.

"Boys!" She called them, and they just murmured what sounded like a 'hello' and continued on with their game. She heard the door open and Warrick walked in.

"Hey Cath."

"Hey War." She went to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup.

"How did the case go?" Warrick asked. He had been assigned to a hit-and-run in the middle of the investigation.

"It went great. It was too easy." Catherine joked and Warrick laughed.

"I'd kill for an easy case right about now." Warrick rummaged through the fridge and fished out a Coke. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

This question caused memories of previous Christmases to float back to Catherine and she smiled. Then she realized that her usual guest wouldn't be able to attend her Christmas dinner anymore and she cringed.

"I don't know, Warrick. You?"

"I think I'm going to take some time off and go somewhere with Tina." He replied as he sipped his drink. He felt bad for mentioning Tina to Catherine, who had previously not been so happy about his sudden marriage. It was only after she said she was happy for him, he realized that he had feelings, which were possibly out of his control, for Catherine. He wondered if he had made the right decision, but decided against thinking about something he couldn't do anything about.

"That sounds nice. Maybe I should take some time off too." Catherine muttered.

"You should. When was the last time you went on vacation?" Warrick asked.

"Uh….I don't remember."

"That long, huh? Tells you something." Warrick threw his can in the garbage. "I'm going to head home. I'll see you later. Bye, guys!"

"Yeah." Mumbled Nick and Greg. Catherine laughed at their dumb behaviour.

"Shouldn't you guys have graduated from that already?" Catherine asked, rolling her eyes. The guys didn't even reply back, as Catherine huffed and headed home.

As Catherine stepped out of his office and was replaced by Sara, Gil wondered if he should have said something to Sara to let her know they were talking about the case, but decided against it as he saw the look on Sara's face.

"What is it Sara?"

"You know…just…clear this up for me, will you...Tell me what you really feel for Catherine." Gil froze and could do nothing but stare back at Sara, who seemed almost on the verge of breaking down. "Is it that she always comes to you? Or you always go to her?"

"Sara, Catherine and I are best friends, you know that."

"Oh I know that. It's just that it doesn't look like you're _just_ best friends." Sara shot back, and Gil knew he was in it for the long haul. "You don't think I saw you dancing with her? Do you think I'm blind, Grissom?"

"No, Sara. Look, tell me this: am I not allowed to dance with my best friend at a party? And besides, I danced the first dance with you!" He replied, still confused and slightly angry now that Sara was posing a question to his friendship with Catherine.

"You just don't get it do you?" She asked, now almost given up.

"What is it that I'm supposed to get?" Gil asked as he stood up from his chair. "Sara, she's my best friend and I…I admire her. If you can't deal with the fact that she's my best friend then…this might not work." Gil replied, gesturing between them. Sara shook her head as she huffed.

"You gave her your jacket!" She shouted, and Gil was taken aback. But he knew he was not going to back down from this.

"She was cold, Sara! I couldn't let her catch a cold like that!"

"Did you ever think of me? Did you think of me when you were out in the snow with her?" She cried, and she shook her head as tears filled her eyes. Gil couldn't speak as he realized that Sara had indeed seen the whole thing. "I know Nick tried to keep me away from it, but I saw it. I'm not a child, Grissom. And yes I can't deal with the fact that she's your best friend. So you're going to have to choose. Is it going to be her, or me?"

"Sara…"

"Decide now Gil!" She shot back, without giving him a moment's notice. Gil froze and he took deep breaths. Realizing that Gil could not decide, Sara gave up. "You know what? Let me just make it easier for you." With that she stormed out of his office, and Gil wondered if that was the last scene of their supposed relationship.

**Chapter 3: The Last Dance**

"Warrick and Greg. You guys have a 420 on Industrial. Catherine, Sara, Nick. You're with me on a double." Grissom announced as he handed a piece of paper to Warrick and one to Catherine. "Let's go." Warrick gave Greg a playful look, which was immediately returned, and they both headed out. Catherine wished she could join them instead of being stuck with the couple. Her heart cracked bit by bit, every time she saw them together. She looked at Nick and sensed that he felt the same. She watched him look towards Sara with a sad countenance, and hang his head. Catherine sighed for the both of them and their eyes met.

"Sara, you and Nick take upstairs. Cath and I will work downstairs and we'll meet you guys halfway."

Catherine wondered if she'd ever come across a day without any crime; no blood, no bodies, no loved ones gone. She also wondered if a similar day would ever come to her, and it would be her who found the bodies in her house and her who had to go through the trembling to dial 911. She shook her head as she examined the blood pool which had formed under one of the bodies.

The two victims were teenagers and the parents had found them, dead, lying in their own pool of blood. Catherine didn't want to imagine what kind of horror they would have been in, and she felt like she was about to cry when she saw their countenances, betraying all the emotions they were feeling deep down inside.

"I know. It's sad what people can do to each other for…for what, I don't know." Gil said, and she knew he had read her thoughts yet again. But Catherine knew why people killed and were killed, because it was always the same desperate need that every single human being carried with him.

"For love." Catherine muttered, as she stood up. She shook her head again as she reached for the camera that hung heavily on her neck. "Don't you ever get tired of this Gil?" She asked, as she brought the camera to her face to take a photograph.

"Of course I do. But what else could I be doing besides this? It's what I'm good at." He replied, and Catherine knew exactly what he meant. Catherine didn't have anything to turn to if she was sick of the job, and she felt vulnerable. She felt his hand on her shoulder as he came to stand next to her. "Come on Cath. Don't give out on me." Gil whispered, near her ear, trying to reassure her. "It'll be over, just like all the other ones."

"You know…we don't prevent crime…we only clean up after it." Catherine reflected. He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze and she turned to face him. Their faces were inches away from each other and Catherine looked into his eyes. She wondered what he was thinking and if he knew what she was thinking. He was looking back at her with an equal intensity, and Catherine shivered under his gaze. She put her head on his shoulder, and he sighed and patted her back. She was surprised at how easy the intimate contact came, but all thoughts were thrown out the window as they heard a loud thump and Nick's scream.

"Sara!!"

Gil's head turned towards the stairwell immediately and Catherine beat him up the stairs. They both sprinted to Nick who was holding Sara, with a bullet lodged in her abdomen; she was bleeding profusely. Tears were pouring out of Nick's terror-stricken eyes.

"Get someone!" Gil shouted to Catherine who was already running down the stairs. Gil fell to his knees and looked at Sara who was drawing short breaths with greater intervals between each one.

"Sara, don't you die on me!" Nick croaked. Gil looked at him, but Nick only saw Sara. "I've got so much I haven't told you…you can't go! Not like this. No way."

Gil's heart was breaking, and Nick seemed to be on the verge of fainting from grief. Gil's vision was blurred by the paramedics as they rushed her out. When they left, Nick was no longer in the room. Gil was in a state of such shock that he was almost certain that this was a nightmare.

Catherine ran back to the bedroom in search for Nick, but found Gil, who was punching himself in the chest. She quickly ran to him and held him back.

"Gil! Look at me!" Catherine shouted. He seemed to stare right through her.

"It's a dream, right? I'm dreaming, right Catherine?" Gil chuckled slightly as he said this, and she realized the reality hadn't hit him yet. Her heart shattered as she watched Gil with tear-flooded eyes.

"No, Gil…I'm…I'm sorry." She started to cry. Gil registered the situation after a few moments had passed. He gingerly crawled over to Catherine and he drew her into his arms. Tears threatened his own eyes, and he surrendered.

**Chapter 4: Are We the Waiting**

"I'm sorry to tell you…Ms. Sidle passed on the table."

Nick felt his heart stop at these few words and it was the first time in his life when he felt completely lost. He didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think, and what to feel. If Catherine wasn't there with him, he just might have died, for he thought he lost his reason to live.

"Nick…come sit with me." Nick faintly heard Catherine's words and her hands led him onto the bench. He fell into the chair, and Catherine, unable to contain herself, embraced him and started to cry. Nick's mouth was becoming dry and his eyes refused to fill with tears. He had barely registered anything that was happening, until he felt a drop of Catherine's tears smear into his shirt when every detail of the world flooded back to him and he lost control. The two friends sat in the waiting area, crying their hearts out for a loved one, gone.

As Gil watched the two become completely overcome with grief, he told himself that he would not do the same. He would refuse to grieve for Sara, but the moment his eyes met Catherine's eyes, with an endless stream of tears flowing out of it, he fell to his knees. From the bottom of his body, he felt a deep rumbling and it came upon him like a tidal wave; he had no way to avoid it. He felt his body shrink and expand as he cried, and it wasn't long before he heard Catherine's footsteps, running towards him. She made him stand up, which Gil found to be the hardest task in the world, and walk over to where she had been sitting. Nick was slowly composing himself, but there was a pool of unexpected tears on the floor. Catherine flung her arms around Gil's neck and he held her; or better yet, she held him. Gil locked his arms around Catherine's relatively petite form and he held onto her as tight as he could, knowing that without Catherine, Gil would have been clueless as to what to do.

"Guys?! What happened to Sara?" Catherine heard Greg's worried voice as he came sprinting down the hall. When Greg saw Nick's crimson face, Catherine's smeared eyeliner, and his boss embracing Catherine, Greg closed his eyes. He made a fist in his hair and he cursed as he punched the wall. "Fuck!" Greg fell to the floor, shouting, and he started to rock back and forth holding his head as tight as he could 'till his knuckles were white. Greg felt vibrations on the floor, and heard Warrick sprint towards them, Brass hot along his tail. Warrick stopped when he came to Greg as he sighed and knelt next to the younger man. Warrick helped Greg stand up and they embraced. Jim gradually came to a stop as he saw the despairing team and he slumped onto one of the chairs and put his head in his hands.

Warrick seldom showed tears but could not keep control as the fact that he would never see Sara again punched him in the chest and a tear rolled out of his eyes. He saw Nick, no longer crying, but so still, Warrick was almost afraid Nick had fainted; Catherine, who was almost enshrouded in Grissom's form, her shelter from the inevitable storm that was death, crying her heart out; Grissom, who seemed to be holding onto Catherine as if she was the only good thing left in his world, the only thing he could now trust; and Greg who didn't even notice his hand was bleeding, and the blood drops staining the floor of the ever-clean hospital called Desert Palms.

Jim felt a strange aching and a tinge of guilt. He had given himself the job of making sure Sara was never in harm's way and he promised himself that he would look after her. Jim felt as if he had failed in his quest, and he wished Sara would not hold it against him when he went to join her in the last minute of judgement. But he had caught the suspect himself, and gave him a rougher treatment than the usual. Jim personally saw to it that he went straight to lock-up.

Nick watched his closest friends succumb to grief and wondered if this was what Fate had had in store for them all along. _They _were the ones that watched the victim's families and friends from afar; _they_ were the ones who were never supposed to be emotionally involved. Fate reversed it all and Nick cursed it and decided to start a battle he knew he would never win. If this was what was to happen three days before Christmas, he wondered what Christmas would bring before them, and if it would really be a merry Christmas.

**Chapter 5: Baby, It's Cold Outside**

Unlike Catherine, the night seemed totally unaffected. There wasn't a drop of neither rain nor snow. The air bit into her skin and the cold seeped in. It was too crisp for her liking.

As her team, and Brass slowly made their way out of the hospital, she felt another wave of utter grief and she sighed, slightly shaking. She looked at Nick who was biting his lower lip to keep himself together until he was safely home. She went over to him and put her arm around his waist and he put his arm around her shoulders. The team slowly dragged their heels and came to a stop in the deserted, dark parking lot. Greg stood and fidgeted with his hands in his faded jean pockets. For the first time, Greg had nothing he could say to lift the mood, as he had done so many times before. He could barely breathe; let alone talk. Sara had always been there for him when he needed her and he cursed himself for not being able to defend her when she had needed him most.

Warrick was keeping a watchful eye on Gil who had an expression on his face that Warrick could not describe in words. It was a mixture of guilt, mourning, pain, and anxiety.

"I think we should all head home, guys. I'll see you all tomorrow. Come on, Warrick." Brass muttered the first few words, knowing the CSIs were too much in pain to say a single word to break the ice.

"I'm going to go too, I'll….uh…see you guys later." Greg blurted, his voice quite hoarse. He walked with an unusual heavy step to his car and threw himself in.

Nick, Catherine and Gil stood in silence. Nick sighed as he brought himself to take his arm off of Catherine. He had to leave now, or he'd never be able to leave again.

"I'll see you guys." Before he got into his car, he gave the hospital one last wistful look and drove away, leaving Catherine with Gil.

"Do you need a ride home, Catherine?" Gil whispered, his voice barely audible. Catherine just hung her head.

"No, I…I brought my car."

"Oh…okay. Well, you better head home. It's cold out here. You might catch something." Gil told her. She heard the worry in his voice and she wondered if Gil was stable enough to drive himself home. She would not be able to live with herself if something had ever happened to him.

"Yeah…" Catherine trailed off. She looked at Gil and gave him a faint smile. "I'll see you." She turned around and walked to her car, not turning to look back to find Gil staring after her. Gil watched her Tahoe leave the lot, and he sighed. He looked at the hospital, and it seemed to loom over him. He had never really noticed the building for itself. The building was sickly grey and it immediately gave him a sense of depression; it had always been just a place of work for him. But now, he was afraid, that he'd never be able to walk through those doors ever again.

"Mom? What happened?"

Lindsey opened the door to find her mother, in a not-so-sexy mood. Catherine sighed again, the events of the day flooding back to her, all too soon.

"Sara died, Lindsey." Catherine later guessed that she had not really grasped the reality of Sara's death, because when she said those three words, she felt absolutely sick and she sprinted to the bathroom. She emptied her stomach of what little was in it and she sighed. Catherine gingerly walked to her bedroom, closed the door and locked it, not wanting to be disturbed.

As she lay in bed, her thoughts wandered to Nick. She could picture him, curled up and crying until his eyes could not cry any more and they ached. She wished she could have done more to comfort him, but knew Nick would have to live it out on his own. She then thought of Gil. She had rarely, almost to the point to say never, seen him cry and she felt her heart stop, just thinking what a hard night Gil was being put through.

Catherine looked to the phone on her night stand and she sighed. She picked up, trembling from nervousness and she dialled.

"Grissom's residence."

"Jim? What are you doing at Gil's?"

"Just to talk, why?"

"I…Is he okay?"

"He's hanging in there, but not so good." Jim replied, drawing yet another sigh out of Catherine. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know Jim…I…"

"Look, just come over and we'll have a quiet word and some drinks. How does that sound?" Jim asked, and before Catherine could reply, she heard Gil's voice telling Jim that he wanted to speak to Catherine. "Here's Gil."

"Hi." Gil whispered.

"Hi." She replied, and her heart was now beating rapidly.

"So you want to come over?" Gil asked, and Catherine wondered whether she should go to draw comfort or to leave them alone.

"I don't know if I should…"

"Will you? I…I need to see you." Gil whispered and that was all she needed to hear. She was out of the bed and fully clothed by the time she hung up the phone.

**Chapter 6: Fix You**

Jim opened the door without another word, and Catherine came in, not saying anything. She counted 4 empty beer bottles and one in Gil's hand. He looked at her as she came in and she saw his blood-shot eyes. She wondered how much pain he was in and she swore to herself that she'd do anything right now to take it all off of him, and onto her.

"Hi, Gil."

"Hi, Cath." That was all Gil could mutter. Jim just sighed and led her into the living room. She sat down next to Gil and Jim sat on the recliner.

"So Catherine, you doing all right?" Jim managed to ask. Catherine looked at Jim and saw for herself how much Jim was affected. He had blood-shot eyes as well and it looked as if he had been crying for a bit earlier. He sniffled and wiped his eyes with his sleeves now and then.

"I'm doing better than some, it seems." Catherine replied, shooting a look at Gil. His eyes were on the floor, and he didn't say anything. He just held the beer bottle and occasionally looked up to take a swig. When Gil finished the fifth bottle, Catherine put her hand on his arm. "Gil…drinking isn't going to help make this go away." And she was replied by a sigh.

"I know…but it'll help me forget it for a moment won't it?" Gil added, and she sighed. She now knew to what extent Gil felt for Sara; Catherine could just feel it. Gil had really loved Sara, whether Catherine liked it or not.

"You guys want something to eat? I make great chicken noodle soup." Jim said, lightening the mood a little. Catherine slightly tilted her head, not knowing what to say. She nodded, and the grumble from the stomach seemed to point out that her stomach was with her all the way. Gil just remained silent and Jim decided to cook anyways.

"This is great soup, Jim. Never knew you could cook like this." Catherine complimented, and Jim showed signs of a smile. Catherine quickly finished hers, as it wasn't much. Gil never had too much food in his fridge. Gil seemed to have been hungry; he finished his in a blink. Jim smiled to himself, glad his friends got some comfort from him. He looked outside and frowned.

"Um..Catherine?"

"Yeah, Jim?"

"I don't think we'll be going home any time soon." Jim muttered and caused both Catherine and Gil to look out the window and Catherine groaned, seeing the flurry of snow flying past Gil's window.

"Damn it! I better call my mom." Catherine shifted and reached for the phone while Gil got up and cleaned up the table. He threw the bottles into the garbage, not bothering to sort them out into the recycling bin as he usually did. He walked back to the living room and flopped back down on the sofa with a sigh. Catherine successfully called Lily, convincing her that she was here on a personal matter and it was very important and now she was stuck. Lily had told her not to worry, since she was stuck at Catherine's house, herself. Catherine hung up and sighed.

"I call the couch." Jim muttered from his state of complete slumber on the recliner. Gil chuckled and nodded.

"Well, it's not my fault that I don't have a guest room." Gil whispered and they all laughed for a bit. Gil looked at Catherine, who looked back at him. "I guess you'll just have to sleep with me."

"Oh boy.…I don't have any pajamas so I'll have to borrow your clothes." Catherine added, glad this night was taking a more cheerful turn. She looked at Jim who silently declined borrowing any. He took his jacket and tie off, undid a couple of buttons and slid off his shoes. He made himself comfortable on the couch and he seemed to let out a sigh of joy. Gil chuckled at Jim's usual behaviour and he headed into his bedroom. Catherine was looking at Jim when she felt an item of clothing hurl towards her and land on her head. She frowned at grabbed at what looked like a shirt and she smiled. Before she could turn around, another item flew at her and she groaned. They were a pair of old sweatpants that smelled like it was fresh out of the dryer.

"Thank you!" Catherine yelled. "I'm taking a shower okay?" And she heard a muffled "okay" coming from his room and she smiled. She headed into the spare bathroom, and turned on the water. She wanted to wash off all the events of the day and so she turned the water on to a bit colder than usual. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She thought about Sara and the horrible scenes fled by her eyes and she coughed.

After she was done, she walked out and changed into her temporary PJs. She tied her hair back and she looked at herself. She was in a shirt that she thought could fit two of her. She had sweatpants that made her look like those new rappers she saw Lindsey watch on TV. She could faintly smell something like cologne in the air and she sighed. She opened the door and headed out.

**Chapter 7: Don't Go**

When Catherine opened the door, and headed towards the living room to look for her purse, she found Jim, dozing off slowly and Catherine smiled. She made sure she didn't do anything to wake him, as she tiptoed around the room. She found what she needed and headed to the bathroom once again.

Gil was standing in his room, looking as puzzled as ever. He was holding a loose white shirt in his hands and staring at it as if it was evidence from a case. He was, at the moment, wearing only his PJ pants, which were a bit too short for him and they came half-way up his shin. Catherine looked at him from the doorway and smiled.

"I think you should wear the shirt." Catherine said, entering his room. He looked at her with a sort of embarrassed face and immediately put the shirt on. "Not to say I won't enjoy you topless." She added, making him chuckle.

"Did you have a good shower?" Gil asked, and Catherine noticed that he had also taken one himself; his hair was glistening.

"Well, maybe not great but refreshing." Catherine replied, indeed feeling refreshed. She sat on top of his bed and gave him a questioning look which created by an almost broken heart. "Did um…Did she sleep…here?" And Gil immediately looked at her from organizing his room. He faltered but gathered up the courage.

"No."

Catherine was surprised, because she thought that something would have happened here by now and she was slightly confused.

"Oh. Okay." That's all she could manage for now. "Gil…I'm sorry I bothered you today. I shouldn't have interrupted you and Jim's man-to-man talking.."

"Catherine, you're never an unpleasant interruption. I needed a break from Jim anyways. And don't worry about bothering me. You're my best friend and you came because…because…because I wanted you to come." Gil pulled the blanket back and he motioned for her to go ahead. She briefly smiled and scurried in. She let out a groan that told Gil she was comfortable.

"You have one of the best beds ever, Gil." Catherine muttered, her eyes closed. He smiled and he looked at her. He was glad she was here, despite the circumstances, because he didn't know how he could spend the night alone in his bed, although he had done so many times, thinking about what had happened and what would happen in the future. He would have been haunted by dreams of past things and he would have needed someone to wake him up. He briefly nodded to himself and he slowly broke himself into the bed. When he was fully surrounded by the blankets, then the awkwardness hit. Gil never usually occupied the whole bed but he wondered if he would do anything really foolish as to make her uncomfortable and their situation more awkward than it already was. Catherine looked at Gil, who was on the verge of sweating from the awkwardness and she smiled.

"Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"Slightly."

"Well, if you want me to go get Jim…"

"No. I…I'm just not used to this." Gil replied, not being able to find any other words. He thought he could feel his stomach turning and he took it as a bad sign. His girlfriend had been shot today, and here he was, in bed with another woman…but Catherine wasn't just another woman. She was his best friend, and she meant almost the whole world to him besides bugs and work. He turned himself to face her and looked into her eyes and stared at it for moments, without knowing he had.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Catherine asked, shifting slightly.

"Oh..sorry. I didn't realize I was looking at you."

"Well, isn't that great. You don't even realize you're looking at me." Catherine joked, chuckling to herself and turning around.

"Catherine…you know I didn't mean it that way." Gil instinctively reached out for her arm and he tugged her back to her original position. She smiled and he dragged his hand back from her arm to his leg. "I'm glad you're here." He added, and Catherine shot him an amused look.

"You are?"

"Yeah…I…I just would be so lost without you. I mean…just being here with you, even if it means being awkward, is so much better than being alone. I…Thank you for coming." Gil said, gently. He seemed slightly embarrassed after the speech and he shyly smiled.

"What would you do without me?" The moment Catherine finished the sentence, a sickening revelation hit them both and they looked at each other with terrified eyes. She put her hand to her mouth and her eyes widened. "Gil…it…it could have been me!" Pent up tears started to flow again and this time, Catherine had no clue as to how to stop it. She turned around from Gil, afraid that she would make him even more uncomfortable. She was about to climb out of the bed to head to the bathroom, but she felt a hand on her waist and she slightly froze.

"Catherine…Come here."

As Gil pulled Catherine back to him, she didn't know how to react. She let go and let him guide her into his arms and her face was soon pushed up against his firm chest and she couldn't stop crying.

"Catherine…you can't think about that…for yourself nor for me. I can't stand the thought of losing you, so don't make me imagine, okay? Just…cry all you like. I'll be here for you." Gil whispered and he put his arms around her waist.

"Gil…what would Lindsey have done? My mother? It just…God!" Catherine cried, and Gil hoped that Jim could not hear her. As hard as he tried, Gil could not stop picturing scenes of Catherine, shot in the stomach and lying on the floor, being held by Nick. Gil felt his heart almost freeze immediately and he fought the urge to grab his chest. He just let out a groan, and all of a sudden his eyes were wet.

"Catherine…please…you're…you're killing me." Gil whispered, his voice slightly breaking. Catherine looked up into his eyes and saw his tears.

"God! I'm just making you even more uncomfortable. I think I should just leave…walk to my house or something…"

"No! You're staying here, and I'm staying with you!" Gil replied, with a quiet demand that Catherine could not ignore. She then felt his hands on her waist, his fingers on her skin due to the slightly lifted t-shirt. He seemed to be gently stroking her and she felt a shiver go up her spine. Her face was just inches away from his and she tried to think of a way to make her way out of the situation. She sniffled, and crawled back into his arms, meeting with his heaving chest again. She didn't fight her way, as sleep overcame her completely.

Gil listened to Catherine's evened soft breaths and he sighed.

"Catherine?" No reply. He was glad that she had fallen asleep safely and quietly. She looked like a lost girl who had just seen the scariest movie in the world and she was too scared to sleep on her own. Gil thought she looked heavenly. He gently kissed her hair, and he shifted. He knew he could not say it to her when she was awake, so he whispered it so even he could barely hear it.

"I love you, Catherine."

**Chapter 8: Remember**

Gil opened his eyes and squinted, expecting sunlight but frowning when it didn't attack his eyes. The storm was still at it; trying to knock over as many trees, and stop signs as possible. Then he directed his eyes to the sleeping figure of Catherine. Somehow, she had turned around in his arms during the night. His arms went around her waist and her back met with his chest. Gil admired the side of her face and smiled to himself.  
As if it was waiting in line to burst through his head, the memories invaded his thoughts again and he lost the battle miserably. Gil's breath caught in his throat, and he closed his eyes again. He was glad Catherine was oblivious to her own memories and he wished he could keep it that way as long as he could. He looked at the clock, who told him it was 8:30PM and they needed to be at work in a few hours. They had gone to bed around 4 am the night before, had waken up early, and went back to sleep not because they needed it but they wanted protection; protection from their memories. Without thinking, he moved his head and he slightly buried his face in her neck, his beard coming in contact with her skin. He gently kissed her shoulder and he shifted. When he had realized what he had done, his eyes widened. He thought it must have been all the alcohol he had consumed the other night.  
"Time already?" Catherine murmured, so naturally. He was surprised that...she wasn't surprised. He shook his head slightly, thinking he wasn't making any sense at all.  
"Mhm. It's 8:30." Gil voiced as he slowly started to slip out of the bed.  
"Wait," Catherine muttered and Gil stayed next to her. She turned around and cuddled to him, making him chuckle.  
"Catherine, it's 8:30."  
"We have four hours!"  
"Come on, now…" Gil felt as if he was talking to a little girl, too tired from the night before to go to school.  
"Just one more hour?" Catherine groaned, cut short by Jim's entrance. Jim stopped at his position at the doorway and smirked.  
"Oh..sorry to disrupt you guys, but I have food ready." Jim said, as he fought to keep his smile in check. Gil sat up, pulling Catherine with him.  
"All right. We'll be right out…Thanks Jim." Gil replied. Jim exited with a wink, and Gil rolled his eyes. Gil groaned and gave Catherine one last tight embrace and he slipped out of her arms.  
From the bathroom, he heard Catherine give one last groan and some shuffles as she made her way to the other bathroom. As he looked in the mirror, he saw a haunted and dishonest man that he could barely recognize. He fought an urge to break the mirror, and he shook his head. He turned the water on to hot, and he washed his face, wiping his face until it stung.

"We're closed in, guys. The roads are closed…man. I don't think I've ever seen it snow this much…snow is rare enough here." Jim reported, after calling the station. Gil and Catherine groaned, the thought of being stuck in Gil's condo keeping them in despair. "So…what's next?"  
"I'm not so sure…" Gil replied, as he scratched his head, thinking.  
"We can talk." Catherine suggested, knowing that the two men in the room hated to talk about their issues. They shot her a look that said 'please don't'. "What? We need to talk. It's what they do in therapy, isn't it?"  
"I guess so…" Jim replied, slightly giving in, and Gil stared at him, urging him to keep his foot down but Jim shrugged, causing Gil to groan. "But what about?"  
"How it makes us feel." Catherine replied, slightly doubting the choice, herself. She got up from the sofa, headed to the kitchen and took a bottle of vodka out from one of the cabinets. She searched in the fridge for orange juice, and being successful in her search, she came back to the living room with three other cups. Jim stared at her in wonder."It's the waitress experience, Jim." She answered his question for him, and Jim smiled.They all mixed their own brew of screwdrivers and drank.  
"You know…I've never really liked Sara," Catherine started, "but when she…when the doctor told us that she passed…It made me regret everything I had ever said to her, because I knew I could have been so much better to her. I…I felt guilty. Almost like the time Holly died." When Catherine finished, Gil looked at her, because he wanted to make sure she was going to be able to do this. While he doubted his own abilities, his first concern seemed to be Catherine's stability. To him, she seemed so strong, but he knew she was practically screaming inside. "I feel like...I feel like I could have done something to prevent this...make sure the scene was clear, and that..." She finished her sentence with a sigh. She leaned back in the sofa, and inhaling slowly, Gil put his arm around her, and tugged her closer to him. He knew she was surprised but she didn't acknowledge it and he was happy when she leaned in further, and put her head on his shoulder. He cranked his neck so that it would lean back on hers and his head slightly nudged hers.  
"I know what you mean. I…I had made it my job to look after her, because she was almost like my daughter, you know? And…she seemed like a strong girl but she really wasn't. And when I heard that she…she passed away I thought I failed my job and she was getting the consequences for it." Jim added, letting his sentence slowly fade. As Jim looked at the two sitting on the couch, he couldn't help but smile inside. This was not the Gil Grissom he had known for so many years. Gil had visibly changed, and Jim knew he had Catherine to thank for it.  
"I could have been so much better to her." Gil added, not wanting to go any further because he would have to tell them the reason why he was so distant. "I guess I was the wrong person. She just didn't...she just didn't know that." He finished the sentence and the screwdriver with it. Catherine was now worried. Maybe she shouldn't have started this after all. Was Gil too vulnerable to be doing this? But seeing how his arm was casually draped around her and his head nudging her own every now and then...he certainly didn't seem vulnerable. However, she also knew better than to judge Gil Grissom from outside; he was a man of internal affairs...so to speak.   
"When's the funeral or…service?" Catherine asked, her body vibrating against Gil's. She could feel him sigh.  
"After Christmas, it looks like." Gil replied, wincing at the thought of saying good-bye to Sara's cold body. He never liked funerals. They weren't good-byes; they were just reminders that this person will never ever be seen again in this world, reminders that this person was gone from your arms forever, and a reminder that you should have done better to make this person happy while they were living.

**Chapter 9: Echo**

"Snap out of it Nick!"

Nick was startled out of his temporary relapse of grief by Grissom who was now furious. It was a day before Christmas, the day where everything in Vegas seemed to be excited by the shopping sprees going on every mall in the city. The Crime Lab was the only place where Christmas's reaches didn't come through; you could just feel the grumpiness in the atmosphere. The whole team was resting after a long shift, and they all held a hot drink in their hands. They knew each other's thoughts, and occasionally, one of them would look towards the door, expecting Sara to walk in any moment. Everyone stopped what they were doing and fell silent, shocked at Gil's sudden outburst.

"We're all absolutely pathetic already, and it's enough. We have to move on at some point!" Gil shouted.

"I don't care! I'm not moving on until I'm ready and you can't force me, Grissom! Aren't _you_ supposed to be the most _pathetic_ one out of all of us? You were her so-called goddamn boyfriend!" Nick shouted back. Catherine frowned, knowing this might break or make both or just one of them. She saw Grissom falter, and she knew Nick had him. "Did you ever even _love her!!"_ Nick shouted. Catherine looked at Gil who wouldn't reply. Gil was just looking down somewhere, off on his own. Nick was on the verge of breaking down. "_I _loved her! I didn't even get to tell her I loved her to the point I couldn't bear to see her with you, who almost seemed to be looking at her as if she was only a burden to you! Did you ever think about her, when you were out there fooling around with Catherine that night?! _EVER?"_ Nick paused, only to keep going, "Don't you think I've tried to forget her? To go back to the point where I…" Nick then realized he had been going off at Grissom in front of the whole lab, and he charged out of the break room, leaving the door swinging behind him.

Gil hung his head and he took off his glasses. He wiped his eyes, and sighed as he headed out of the break room. He walked to his office and hurled the case file to the floor. He closed his door and he cried out a scream of utter anger and lost hope. He didn't care to stare back at the spectators in the lab, gazing towards his office.

Did he ever love Sara? Of course he did…but never how he should have loved her as a boyfriend. He loved her as his student, his colleague, and one of his closest friends. He felt bad for shouting at Nick, when Gil knew Nick was the most vulnerable one out of all of them. Gil wondered if he stepped in between two people who were destined for love, and ruined it for them before they ever got a chance at it.

When the shift was over, Gil Grissom found himself with nothing to do. It was now just Christmas, seeing as it turned midnight. He thanked God that there wasn't another serial killer to solve; those maniacs always went to work on the day when mercy meant everything. He sat in the break room, waiting for his team to get back. When Catherine and Nick walked in through the door, Gil stood up from the sofa and met them.

"So?" Gil asked, trying to not look at Nick.

"Well, we found something." Catherine replied, filling him in. Gil nodded and looked at Nick, who was just looking at his shoes. Just then, Warrick came into the room with Greg in tow, both looking tired. Greg filled all of them in, and the team fell into silence.

"Hey, how about Christmas dinner at my place?" Catherine offered.

"Got to go back home to Tina." He replied, and gave Catherine a wink. He went over to her and embraced her. "Merry Christmas Cath." He made his way to the door, and said, "Merry Christmas guys." He was out the door before they could reply.

"Well you know my position on free food." Greg added, making Catherine smile.

"Of course I do…Nick?" Catherine asked, hoping Nick wouldn't turn her down.

"Yeah, all right." Nick replied and he gave Catherine a faint smile.

"Gil?" Catherine asked, giving him the all-knowing look. Gil never had a chance of saying no. "All right then, I'm going to head home now so you guys come around 7pm or so. See you." Greg walked out alongside Catherine, leaving Nick and Gil.

"Nick…I'm…I'm sorry about earlier." Gil told him, looking at his toes.

"No, Gris. I'm sorry for going off at you. It can't be easy for you." For the first time, Gil and Nick shared a friendly embrace, Gil patting Nick on the back. "I just…I'm so mad at myself."

"Nick, it wasn't your fault." Gil said, giving Nick's arm a reassuring squeeze. Nick wasn't willing to accept it and Gil knew. "Look…just know that…that…"

"It was her time to go." Nick finished. Gil just sighed and hung his head. "Well…I'm gonna head. I'll see you at Cath's." Nick smiled briefly, and headed out leaving Gil in the midst of Nick's echoing Texan accent, and the beeps from the microwave.

**Chapter 10: A Christmas Carol**

As it turned out, Catherine had invited the whole lot of them: Jim, Doc Robbins and Sofia. Lindsey was off to a friend's, but had said her greetings to everyone before she hurried away. Gil could truly see Time's works when he saw Lindsey, and it was a touch of reality. He felt as if life was passing by him and all he could do was watch.

Despite the recent events, everyone ended up on a high-note from Catherine's fabulous dinner. They bombarded her with compliments, and Catherine was feeling better than what she had been feeling over the last few days. Doc Robbins's pie was just the much needed bonus. They were all bloated and happy when Jim and Sofia's beepers went off.

"Perfect timing." Jim groaned and Sofia agreed. Catherine was glad she had invited Sofia over. Sofia seemed like the kind of gal who would spend Christmas alone, wondering what the whole point of it all was, much like Grissom. She had seen a sort of mutual, mysterious attraction between them but knew it didn't last long with all the chaos at the lab recently. Sofia had a strange elegance to her that Catherine couldn't quite put her finger on and she admired Sofia. Catherine hugged both Jim and Sofia and sent them on their way.

"I better start cleaning up." Catherine muttered, and headed to the kitchen.

"I'll help you." Gil and Nick both stood up, and Gil nodded to Nick who just sat back down. Gil received a warning look from Catherine. "I insist." Catherine gave in with a roll of her eyes and Gil smiled. As they loaded the dishwasher, the three men fell into a comfortable conversation and started talking about sports, and the news. Catherine was glad she had contributed to helping to lift the mood of the team and smiled triumphantly as she watched Nick laugh and talk. Gil was right next to her, their elbows touching.

"Great dinner." Gil whispered, so only they could hear each other.

"Thanks Gil. I'm glad you came." Catherine replied, slightly nudging him.

"My pleasure, I don't know what I would have done without an invitation. Just might have barged in without one." Gil replied, putting another smile on Catherine's face. "You did a great job." She knew he was referring to the team's mood.

"I know." She replied. She went to join the group, but Gil remained behind, just smiling to himself, wondering if there were any limits to the mystery of the woman.

When Greg and Doc Robbins left, Catherine, Gil and Nick fell into a comfortable silence. Nick was sitting in the recliner, quietly sipping a martini and thinking to himself. Gil and Catherine were sitting on the sofa, both staying quiet. When Nick's watch beeped with the hour 11pm, he was getting up.

"Well Cath, I really appreciate what you did. I…I don't know if I could bear the loneliness after…after what happened."

"Nick…we're practically family." Catherine replied as she opened her arms. He walked into them and they shared a quiet embrace while Gil went to look for his jacket. By the time Gil got out of the spare room with it, Nick was gone and a chill went down his back.

"Well…I'm going to head home."

"Yeah…" It was strange how they could never finish sentences when they were alone. Gil slowly put his jacket on the sofa and he walked towards Catherine. They shared a timid hug. Gil picked up his jacket and slowly headed out, waving to Catherine as he got in the car. When Catherine saw Gil's car drive out of her sight, she closed the door and sighed. She felt as if she could finally breathe, for she was constantly nervous all night because she felt his eyes on her.

Suddenly, she was frightened out of her wits when she heard a knock on the door which she was leaning on. She wondered who it could be, and opened the door.

"Gil? Did you leave something?" Catherine asked, confused, and her eyebrows rose.

"Um…I just forgot something." Gil replied, and he didn't come in.

"What is it?" Catherine asked, even more confused by this enigma of a man that stood before her.

"I…I uh…" Gil couldn't finish his sentence and Catherine took in a breath. "I…"

"Gil! Come in! What is it?"

"I…I…"

"Gil I'm getting old."

"I forgot to say Merry Christmas." Gil finished, and Catherine's face brightened. She laughed and Gil chuckled, knowing what he said was just absolutely hilarious. "I forgot to say Merry Christmas." Gil repeated, knowing how pathetic it was. Catherine nodded and she linked her arms around his neck again, and he smiled as he embraced her, this time making it last as they swayed from side to side.

"Merry Christmas Gil."

**Chapter 11: Catharsis**

As Gil closed the door to his car after completely looking like a fool, he sighed. He drove out of her driveway, waving like nothing had happened. He drove about five minutes until he eventually pulled over. His head dropped onto the steering wheel, scaring the civilians around him. He didn't know why he had driven back in the first place, but something had urged him to do so. He knew that there was something there but he didn't know what. He felt as if he had to tell her something important but all he could say was Merry Christmas. What in the world had happened to the calm, unfeeling, steel-hearted Gil Grissom that would never do something like this. He wondered what Catherine was thinking about him right now.

When Catherine closed the door again, she turned around and raised an eyebrow and sighed. Had he really forgotten to say Merry Christmas? Or had he come to say something more important? But she shook her head as she banished any imagination that would only make her happy for a second but make her unhappy for longer.

She thought she had been doing this 'crush' thing for longer than ever but she found this somehow too complicated for her. During the whole night, she thought she could feel his eyes on her and she was scared that he could see right through her and know what she was feeling. Whenever she hugged him, she thought she might never crawl out of his embrace and she had to force herself out before it could go any further. She felt shivers go all down her and she shook her head again. She wondered if she should ask him how he felt now that Sara had passed. But the timing was the worst ever.

She was now through with the flings and if she had confessed to Gil her feelings and he had, by chance, rejected her she knew she would end up alone. Gil was the type of man she had been waiting all her life for, and she was too afraid to take the chance and lose what they had. Should she be happy with what she has or should she go all-or-nothing?

Gil turned the lock on his door and when the cold wind blew at him, his loneliness along with a picture of Catherine, standing on her doorstep, came back to him. He stared into the darkness of his townhouse, and frowned. He closed the door behind him, and locked it, the sound of the lock ringing in his ears.

As Gil was heading home, he realized that maybe he was going to tell her about his feelings. But he knew both of them were not ready for this, because the timing was the worst. All thoughts of possible ways to tell her ran through his mind. Although he hadn't seen that many, he could certainly think of a few sappy movies that might work but he could never bring himself to do it. Then he thought, maybe this time…he could let it happen on its own.

"Have you been waiting long?"

Catherine looked up as Gil ran to the table, catching his breath. She was sipping her coffee, waiting for Gil to arrive in the farthest booth from the entrance. She smiled.

"No I just got here."

"Good." Gil smiled and he sat down. He looked at the table and he saw that she had ordered his coffee for him. He gave her a raised eyebrow, and all she did was smile but it melted him down.

They had come to the usual diner, for no particular reason. It was just a quietly agreed thing. They now sat in comfortable silence, just staring out the windows. The scene outside deleted all scenes of a snow storm only a few days ago from their memories. Then an unexpected visitor came along.

"Hey, guys!"

Gil and Cath looked towards the cheerful voice and found Greg.

"Greg! What are you doing here?" Catherine asked, slightly disturbed now that he had ended the silence.

"Just picking up some food. What are you two doing here? Alone?" Greg joked, and he saw that they were not exactly in the mood. He looked around the diner and he just nodded. "Right. Okay. I'm leaving."

"Come on Greg. Come sit." Catherine told him, gesturing him to sit next to her. When he stepped into the booth, her comforting hand was on his shoulder. "How are you doing?"

"Better than before." Greg replied, ever-so-serious. Catherine sighed and wondered when she would be seeing the old Greg back, and if he ever would come back after this. "You know…She was my mentor, type thing. I…I had to be there."

"Greg, don't beat yourself up now." Catherine told him, stroking him gently. Greg just sighed. "We were there, we couldn't have done anything. It's human error."

"I know…" Greg replied, and he looked into the distance.

Gil felt something for the young man, and it was hard for him, as a boss, to see his team member suffer. Everything that anyone said about Sara's death felt like a personal attack at him, and he didn't like it. But he had to give everyone their time to grieve, because if you didn't grieve, he knew you'd never get over it.

"Well…I better get home. I'll catch you guys later." Greg announced and was about to step out of the booth.

"Greg?"

"Yes, Grissom?"

"If you ever need anything…I'm here for you."

That was all Greg had ever wanted from Grissom; a reassuring gesture of comfort and acknowledgement. Greg felt something close to a catharsis, and he drew in a breath. His shoulders felt lighter and he was suddenly aware of every clothing item he was sporting and he nodded.

"Thank you, Grissom."

**Chapter 12: Mad World**

"The New Year's Celebration will take place along with CSI Sidle's public service on December 31st, which is about 2 days from now at the Bellagio. If you can attend, you have to let me know quickly. There are limited spaces. Thanks everyone." Conrad Ecklie betrayed his usual demeanor, and he almost seemed depressed; Conrad Ecklie was grieving.

Gil watched Conrad retreat into his office, and the whole lab filed out of the break room, just leaving him and his team. They shared a moment of silence, and it was as if their thoughts connected and they had all just agreed that they'd go to the service. They headed to Conrad's office, their steps in unison, overwhelming the hallway. When they reached his office, Gil knocked and they all headed in. Ecklie was sitting with his back to the door, staring at his bookcase.

"Conrad?"

"Gil." Conrad answered and he turned around to face them. "I'm guessing you're all attending."

"Yes we are." Gil replied, taking off his glasses with his right hand, and holding his case file in the left.

"Are any of you bringing guests?"

"I am. I'm bringing my wife." Warrick announced, and Conrad nodded. Gil frowned. It seemed as if Conrad wasn't really taking in what they were saying.

"Oh, and I…I think I'll bring my girlfriend, Charlotte. She'll be with me, so…" Greg announced but Ecklie wasn't listening.

"Well all right then. Just make sure you're there. It's a formal occasion…"

"Yeah…we know." Gil answered, and he went out of the room. Catherine followed, and the team followed shortly after. They reassembled in Gil's office, waiting for their assignments.

"Nick, Warrick. I'm giving you guys a 419 on Industrial. Greg, you have a hit-and-run on Cordova. Catherine, you also have a 419 in Seven Hills, addresses are all on the slip." Gil announced, as he handed the white pieces of paper, he knew so well.

"What about you?" Warrick asked.

"I'm staying inside today. I've got paperwork to catch up on." He replied, and the team filed out, except for Catherine.

"Paperwork?"

"Yeah…"

"But you dread it." She said as she slowly headed out.

"Doesn't mean I can avoid it." He replied, to the retreating form of what was Catherine Willows.

"I'd like it by tomorrow please…Regular…black…I've got my own ties. Thank you."

Gil hung up the phone and sighed. He never liked renting suits; he didn't know whether they were comfortable or not. He looked at the pile of paperwork he had gone through by the end of the shift and he smiled to himself. He had gotten through it all without any disturbances, which he thanked God for. If Catherine had happened to drop in…he could have sworn at any time that he'd never get through it all.

He yawned and he rubbed his eyes. He also made it a habit to get back home right after shift; no overtime for him. As he grabbed his jacket and glasses, he heard an all too familiar knock on his door and he looked up to find Catherine.

"Hey you." Catherine greeted and Gil only smiled. "Where you going?"

"Home."

"You're going home? You? The 5' 11" workaholic who lives at the lab and never goes home? What's the world come to?" Catherine was surprised and Gil wasn't oblivious.

"I've made it a habit." He replied, and he led her out of the office. "You?"

"I still have some things to finalize before I go home…You're going home?" She replied, still slightly shaken. She chuckled and patted his shoulder. "At least something's going right in this world." She walked away before he could hold her back.

**Chapter 13: Since You've Been Gone**

"She was a great CSI. She really was."

This was all Gil had been saying since he arrived, which was about 30 minutes before the service/party was supposed to start. That's all everyone was talking about; his relationship with her, and his loss. He had tried to forget so hard, but it all came flooding back to him and he cursed everyone in that room.

He was wondering why he was attending parties so often. He knew he was in for the long haul in this one too, and he made sure he was comfortable in his clothing. He had chosen a blue tie that brought out his eyes (which he never intended), and a white shirt that seemed perfect on him. He was wearing his glasses, and constantly going over his speech in his head. He wasn't nervous until he saw her.

Catherine walked into the seminar hall, wearing a light blue silk dress that helped him take in her eyes for their true colour, and her hair was curled so elegantly that she looked majestic to him. She only had the slightest bit of make-up: blue eye-shadow, and little eye-liner as far as Gil could tell. He tilted his head while he was taking her in and she was soon standing right in front of him, mirroring his expression. He caught himself before he went almost to the point of hurting his neck and he smiled. They both laughed and he caught a whiff of her shampoo. He thought he could crumble to the floor.

She hadn't expected much from Gil but she had to say she was impressed. It wasn't very often she was attracted to men in suits, and here she was, unable to take her eyes off of her best friend. He looked incredibly professional yet casual, and he gave off an air of friendliness and coolness that she found irresistible. She was glad she was having a similar effect on him. She hadn't tried to be too provocative, because it was Sara's service after all. She had just chosen a moderate dress that she had always liked but had never found the right occasion for. She noted the fact that his tie matched her dress, and she smiled to herself.

"So…how's the party?" She asked, watching him closely.

"It seems the only thing everyone wants to talk about is my relationship with Sara and my loss. I feel like an automated doll." He replied, and it shot her a jolt of reality. Relationship.

"Well…better get used to it. It's about to get better." She replied, taking his arm.

"I already have."

As Gil pulled out Catherine's chair for her, she giggled. He smiled, like a fool, he added to himself, and took a chair next to her. He was sitting at the table with his team, and Ecklie was on the stand. Everyone was settling down, and soon everything became silent.

"Welcome everyone from the Crime Lab, Las Vegas PD to the New Year's Celebration. Tonight, we will be coming into the New Year 2006, but at the same time we will pay tribute to a great CSI, Sara Sidle." Ecklie paused, and looked towards Gil who was just listening intently. "Sara Sidle was a great member of the Crime Lab that contributed a lot to this city, and I'm sure many of you know what I mean. I will now pass you over to the graveyard shift supervisor, Gil Grissom."

Gil stood up, and before he walked away he looked at Catherine who was mouthing him good luck. He knew she understood his nervousness, and he was glad she was there. He walked up to the podium, and cringed under the bright spotlight. He walked up nervously to the mike, but when he started speaking, everything melted away and he spoke confidently.

"Thank you to everyone coming out tonight. I'd like to take this chance to say what tonight means to me and my team at the Crime Lab." Gil paused slightly, and looked at Catherine, seeking confirmation. She just nodded slightly. "Sara was one of the best CSIs the lab had ever seen. She was a relentless worker, and…not surprisingly, she wouldn't go home when I told her to. And I don't tell many people to go home." He drew out a brief laughter from the audience. "She was so meticulous about so many things, and that was really valuable to us as a team. She never overlooked something, which could possibly compromise the case." He looked at his hands briefly. "Sara and the team quickly became friends after I recruited her from San Francisco. Even back then, I knew she'd make a great CSI. Now that I think about it, I have treated Sara coldly, and I regret that. I think I could have done much better and I know every one of you think the same way." He hung his head for a while, thinking maybe he had said too much. "Sara had gone through a lot of troubles when she was young, and I think the team really looked out for her, and I think she felt safe in the environment. She would have been happy know that her service was our New Year's Celebration Night." The audience laughed again. "Again, thank you all for coming out here, on behalf of the graveyard shift, and…on behalf of CSI Sidle, thank you. Enjoy the night."

Gil walked off the podium in the midst of great applause and Catherine smiled at him. She kissed him on the cheek briefly, and he took a seat.

"Good job, Gil." Catherine told him, smiling.

"I know." He winked.

**Chapter 14: Only Fools Rush In**

Gil stopped himself from showing any sort of emotion during the moment of silence. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. All the images of Sara that he had ever known flew by and he realized that this was his chance to say his good-bye. He let it all fly by his eyes, up until the moment when he had just walked up to her picture with flowers around them. Soon enough he could feel Catherine's hand linking onto his and their fingers entwined, as if she knew what he was going through. When the moment was over, the music started and the digital clock for the countdown was now ticking at 2 hours.

'2 more hours of this and I'm done.' Gil told himself, as he tried desperately to not run out of the hall. When he looked towards Catherine, and their still entwined fingers, she smiled.

"Let's eat."

They sat down on the table and waited patiently for their dinner to arrive. The appetizer was some calamari that Gil really enjoyed.

"Hey Gris." Warrick called out, briefly stopping the continuous giggling from Tina.

"Yeah?"

"Great speech."

"Thanks." Gil nodded, and Warrick winked. Warrick looked at Catherine, and thought her really beautiful. Well…he always thought she was beautiful, but tonight was exceptional. He licked his lips, and turned back to Tina before anything could go further.

Nick was immersing himself in a conversation with Sofia and Brass, and for the first time in many months, Nick was talking about something else other than Sara. He felt this was good for him. Grissom was right; he had to move on at some point didn't he? But for now, Nick decided he wouldn't rush himself. He'd take it step by step.

Catherine was literally dragged out of her conversation by Gil, who took her hand and led her to the dance floor, already occupied by many couples. She frowned, but she was enjoying this more than she really should. Gil seemed to be not himself lately, and she shouldn't have, but she liked it.

"Hey…it's Dancing Cheek to Cheek." Catherine noticed the song, pointing to the ceiling. Gil smiled and nodded. He knew this song was 5 minutes or so, and he smiled to himself.

When they arrived at the dance floor, Gil put his right hand on the upper part of her waist, where it fit the curve of her waist perfectly, and held her right hand tightly in his left and placed them on his left chest. She put her hand on his right shoulder, and smiled. She realized that if Gil really wanted to, he could charm any woman on the face of the earth without much problem. It was just getting him to start that was the hardest process.

"So…enjoying the party?" She asked, her head tilting back slightly.

"More than I should have, yes." He replied, thinking about Sara again. He felt slightly guilty for having romantic feelings for the gorgeous woman swaying with him at his recent partner's service. He sighed, without Catherine knowing and he closed his eyes. "I feel guilty."

"I know…somehow, I do too." Catherine added, not wanting to reveal too much. She could feel his hand inching towards her back, and she realized she was being drawn closer to him. Smiling to herself, she inched in, and soon his lips were within centimetres of her forehead. He shifted slightly to the side, so their heads were next to each other.

"So…" Gil started, and Catherine giggled. "What?"

"I don't know. You just…you don't seem yourself today." She replied, smiling.

"That's a good thing, right?" He asked, drawing away slightly to look into her eyes. She trembled under his perhaps flirtatious stare, and she smiled, teasing.

"Maybe…on certain levels." She replied, her tongue making a brief appearance to wet her dry lips. "You know…maybe Sara wants you to be happy. Wants you to have fun."

"Let's hope that, shall we? Because I'm having a great time." He replied, making her blush and giggle. Gil was glad that he had his touch with this woman. He took pride in the fact that he was one of the few men that could make Catherine Willows blush. They swayed in silence, Gil nudging her head slightly every now and then. Both Catherine's and Gil's stomachs were doing double flips and they were both hoping that they did not show it.

To the disappointment of both Gil and Catherine, the song was over eventually. Gil kissed her hand, and led her back to the table, still holding her hand.

**Chapter 15: Fireworks**

"So I turned the corner, and there it was! Standing right there!"

The table erupted into laughter, and Greg smiled triumphantly. He had been telling series of stories to lift up the mood and he had succeeded. Greg knew that the team needed this side of him more than ever, so he brought the funny Greg Sanders out of the closet. He looked towards the timer and it read "0:30:00".

"Hey guys…30 minutes till '06!" Greg announced, and everyone looked towards the clock. He cleared his throat. He put his arm around Charlotte, his girlfriend who he had invited to the party. "Well…since some of us will be busy with kissing on the New Year, I'd like to make a toast."

He knew he had their attention the moment the fork came into contact with the glass.

"To life, everyone." Said Greg, and he raised his glass. The table raised its glass and they all clinked. Everyone took a sip, but Greg gulped down the whole glass. Catherine laughed.

"Greg, it's a bit early."

"I know. I'm just warming up, Cath." He winked at her, and Catherine smiled. She was glad to see the old Greg back again. He was the sign that told her everything will eventually be all right, and that people moved on.

"Um…ladies and gentlemen?"

It was the sheriff, announcing the start of fireworks soon. Gil raised an eyebrow, and slowly got up along with the rest of the room. When he left the hall, the clock read 20 minutes, and there was faint music echoing in the room.

Gil was enjoying the preparations for the fireworks. The fountain was going off, and when he looked up at the sky, there was not a single cloud. He looked to the left of him and watched as Tina crawled into Warrick's arms. He felt a sort of longing for something Warrick had, and Gil never dreamed it would be stability. But when he looked to the right of him, he found just what he had been looking for the whole time. He saw Catherine, looking into the fountain water, completely amazed at its beauty. He walked nearer to her, and she felt his presence. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. They were inches away when Catherine shivered.

"You're cold."

"No, I'm fine." She replied, briefly warming her arms.

"Darn, I left my jacket inside. Let me go get it." He told her, and before she could stop him, he was off. She looked at her silver watch and the clock read 11:57. She started to become anxious, afraid he won't return in time for the fireworks. It wasn't that she desperately wanted to kiss him…well that was part of the reason but it wasn't the whole reason. She didn't really know why, but she shook her head, just categorizing anxiousness as one of the key signs of a crush. She knew that far. She forced herself to decide to give him some time, and she looked at her watch; 11:58. She looked back at the crowd, since she was at the very front of it. She sighed, and when she turned around, she found Nick staring at her, slightly frowning.

"Something wrong?" He asked. She looked at her watch; 11:59.

"I forgot something. I'll be right back." She hurried away and started to move through the crowd. She bumped into everyone, apologizing each time. She tried hard to not ruin her appearance as she carefully pushed through. What was she doing? Was she actually so desperate, that she was running in search of Gil?

_10…._

The voice of the crowd started to count and Catherine rushed herself.

_9…._

Gil exited the room, flinging the door open as the countdown started. He started running back to where Catherine was, apologizing on the way.

_8…._

She pushed through the last row, and she panted, hunched over. She looked over herself, and straightened her dress.

_7…._

She looked at the door that was closed, and she looked at the sky.

_6…._

Tears threatened her eyes, and she didn't know why she was so overreacting.

_5…._

She didn't know how desperate she had been for him, until she heard him shout her name.

_4…_

"Catherine!" She looked behind her, and saw Gil, standing where she had just come from. She realized they had crossed paths.

_3…_

He was running to her, and he stood in front of her, his eyes slightly moist. None of them mentioned the fact that they had both been looking for each other.

_2…_

He put his jacket around her shoulders, and kept his hands clutching the collar of his jacket. But she felt them slide down and onto that familiar place slightly above her waist.

_1…_

He smiled, and she thought her legs were turning into jelly.

_HAPPY NEW YEAR!_

"Happy New Year, Catherine." He whispered.

"Happy New Year, Gil." She replied, and she grinned. The fireworks simultaneously went off. He nervously leaned in, and their lips met. They knew they were both hesitant, but Catherine's legs slightly giving away pushed her a bit further into him and their noses were against each other. Gil took in her unique feminine scent and the feel of her silk dress under his fingers were heavenly. Unknowingly, Gil deepened the kiss just slightly, bordering on the line of a very soft French kiss. Catherine's hands were on Gil's shoulder, and before she knew it, they were both pulling away. She looked into his eyes, and wished so hard to read them. He smiled a friendly smile and Catherine was confused. Had that been a friendly new-year kiss or had it meant to him as much as it did to her. She smiled back and she walked into his arms. She felt him sigh something like a sigh of joy.

**Chapter 16: Two Hearts, Two Kisses **

As Warrick walked away from the crowd with Tina, he found Catherine and Gil, in an embrace, and Warrick's heart felt a jolt of pain. He put his arms tighter around Tina, and walked towards them. When Gil spotted them, he immediately seemed nervous, and Warrick wondered if he was interrupting something special. He never figured he'd want something that Grissom had; especially women, and especially Catherine.

"Hey, Gris. Happy New Year. Catherine." He gave Catherine a kiss on the cheek, and shook Grissom's hand. "We're heading inside…wanna join us?" Catherine nodded, and Gil led her, with his arm around her waist.

Gil was suddenly nervous. He recognized it as similar anxiety that he often had when he was in a relationship when he suddenly realized it could turn serious. He licked his dry lips, and suddenly felt afraid. He had just shared the sweetest of kisses with the woman of his dreams who could only be an angel to him, and here he was, sweating from his nerves. He wanted to leave as soon as possible but could not fathom the thought of leaving Catherine alone.

"Hey, Cath. I really want to get out of here." He whispered, when they were at their table.

"Oh…okay. Um…well I'll see you tomorrow I guess." She replied, looking slightly confused. He wondered what was going through her mind, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Do you need a ride home?" He asked, and he immediately regretted it. He needed time to himself to think over what he was feeling. But she smiled and nodded, before he could do anything. "Okay, let's go." He said his goodbyes to the team that was now coming in from outside and led Catherine out of the hall.

Gil could feel himself gripping the steering wheel. Why was he feeling this way? He could feel a strange vibe of confusion radiating from Catherine, and he didn't like what that meant for him. Had the kiss meant something more to her as well? Or was Gil having one of his days again? He shook his head and sighed.

"Gil you've been sighing all night. What's wrong?"

"Ah….it's nothing. I'm fine. Just…a little shaken, that's all."

Shaken? Was Gil having trouble with putting his feelings together? Catherine fidgeted in her seat. The tension was enough to eat her alive. She wanted to say something to free herself from the chains, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't say a word to save her soul.

When Gil's Tahoe drove into Catherine's driveway, she slowly opened the door, and gracefully jumped out. She looked back to say good-bye, but Gil had gotten out of the car already. She looked around her and saw the black sky littered with the stars and she wondered if this was the night.

Gil wondered why he had gotten out of the car. He cursed under his breath and tried to calm his palpitating heart, but failed miserably as he saw Catherine walk around the car.

She looked even more beautiful, if that was possible, under the unobstructed moonlight, and the porch light shone on her hair, making it shine like never before. He caught himself before he thought he would almost start to drool, and he smiled.

"You look beautiful tonight." He whispered, and he now clearly saw that she blushed. He frowned slightly. Did Catherine have feelings for him? The heart took a faster rate that Gil could barely breathe under.

"Thanks, Gil. Well…I guess I'll…I'll see you tomorrow." She said, and she gave him a last smile, as she walked to the door. He couldn't resist following her, and when she was at her door, he was right there with her. "Um…something wrong?" She asked, and she could barely breathe.

"I…just wanted to say good night." He said, and he almost rolled his eyes, but his heart stopped when Catherine gave him a lingering peck on the cheek, dangerously close to his mouth.

"Good night, Gil."

"Good night Catherine." She smiled her Catherine-Willows smile before she closed the door on him. Gil thought he was just about to fall backwards, but caught his breath as he tried to walk aloof to his car. He got in, closed the door and almost squealed out of her driveway but managed to keep himself in check before driving about a mile down the road. He pulled over again, and banged his head on the horn, wondering if reason itself could ever know the reasons of the heart.

**Chapter 16: I Hate Myself For Losing You**

Was Gil avoiding her?

Catherine's heart sank even as she thought about it. After the events in the previous night, she thought they would become closer, but she realized that Gil Grissom was a puzzle that never stopped changing. When she thought she had found one of the pieces, it turned out it never fit after all. He had refused to look at her when he handed her the assignment, and stayed sitting in his office all shift.

She knew he was deficient in the relationship field, but looking at the way he had been acting around her lately, she thought all that had changed. All of a sudden, she craved his secretive stares, and his charming smiles. But maybe he was afraid; afraid to let her know about his feelings…or lack of feelings. She had gathered up what little courage she had been left with from previous relationships, and decided that she would confess her feelings to Gil, but seeing the way things were going tonight, she was thinking otherwise. She had changed her mind countless times but in the end decided to give Gil some breathing room, unlike the past few days.

Gil sat in his chair, biting the end of his glasses, just staring at the door. He hated the fact he couldn't get any work done, and didn't even bother looking at the pile of cases that needed evaluating, and work forms that needed signing. He just held his pen in his right hand, and held his glasses with the other.

He wondered if Catherine would ever come barging into his office, demanding an explanation from him, and he was afraid; because he couldn't give her one. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he knew it was bad. He knew anxiety was bad in a relationship, whether it was just between friends or lovers. He knew he had been getting closer and closer to Catherine but just when he thought he couldn't get any closer, he realized that this was uncharted territory for him. He had never dedicated himself to anyone as he had to Catherine the previous night and somehow, that frightened him. Somehow, realizing how much he loved this woman seemed to put him in a state of panic and Gil didn't like what it might mean for him and Catherine. Perhaps he should pretend like nothing ever happened between them that might jeopardize what they had. Perhaps they should go on living life as it once was, pretending that the dream of something better had never existed. Perhaps he'd pretend he never felt anything for anyone; he was good at that.

The people of Las Vegas seemed to feel the spring in the air, and became restless. The team was handling, on average, about 3 cases a night, and soon they were all just completely exhausted from pulling doubles. They all sat motionless in the chairs, cups of steaming coffee in front of them. They had just agreed to go home, and Catherine was ready to doze off on the sofa when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey…go sleep at home. You'll get cramps." She looked up to find Gil, grabbing his jacket, and the rest of the team heading for the locker room. "Trust me."

"You're right. I should go." Catherine pulled herself up, and straightened her clothes before looking at Gil again. She was glad he had finally decided to acknowledge her, but she decided to let him talk to her when he was ready. "I'll see you." She walked by him, her heart instantly aching, and headed out of the lab.

**Chapter 18: Drowning**

_Two weeks later…._

Catherine had told everyone except Gil, leaving him for last and she decided she should tell him in private. She strolled into the lab, and thankfully, Gil, the ever-working workaholic was at his desk an hour earlier.

The phone call to Miami a week ago had been made around noon, and Detective Horatio Caine of the Miami Dade Police, answered. They talked for a long while and the phone call ended and was continued by another call to the airline for a ticket the next morning. She had decided; she was leaving.

"Gil?" She knocked, and he answered with a grunt. She closed the door behind her, drawing his attention. Gil saw the look on her face and frowned. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it, Catherine?" Gil had always said her name with a kind of unnatural flow to it that Catherine could just not quickly respond to. It always made her falter a moment, and this time was no exception.

"I…uh…I'm moving to Miami."

The minute she said she was moving, Gil's heart felt like it was deflating. He gulped, feeling emptiness in the bottom of his gut. He frowned.

"What? Why?"

"It's…it's for personal reasons." She replied, not wanting to tell him until she had fully moved on. She was now at this point, sure that Gil did not feel the same way she did and that he was avoiding her for those exact reasons. "Just…accept it will you? Maybe…Maybe someday I'll be able to explain." She put an envelope on his desk. "Just…let me go, Gil."

Gil did not say anything, and Catherine took the chance. She sighed and briskly walked out of his office before she could not move at all and tears threatened her eyes, drawing attention from Warrick who was just coming in from the door. He ran to follow Catherine with his umbrella, covering her from the rain. "Catherine! You're leaving?" Catherine stopped and looked at Warrick with tear-filled eyes.

"I don't want to leave you Warrick, I really don't."

"Then don't. It's as simple as that."

"I can't stay here…I…"

"Are you in love with Grissom?" Warrick asked, and Catherine just shook her head..

"It doesn't matter anymore, Warrick. I…I can't stay here anymore." She replied, tears flowing out of her eyes.

"Is there anything I can say that'll make you stay?"

"No…not for the world." She replied, as she briefly looked at the lab, and Warrick recognized her look as a last sweep of the building. Warrick would miss her dearly, and his heart would strain every second and it would only hurt when he breathed.

"Oh…well. This is good-bye then, huh?" Warrick's voice broke slightly, his eyes filling with tears. He gave into a tight embrace with Catherine and he could hear her sniffle. They held each other for a while, and Catherine thought her heart was breaking bit by bit. He walked her to her car and watched her drive away. He never thought he'd ever hear Grissom shout so loud.

"Catherine!!"

Warrick looked back, and saw Gil Grissom, the iron-hearted man, the objective, and the ever-soft-spoken man run out into the rain, looking all over him. Warrick ran back to Grissom and covered him.

"Catherine's gone, Gris." Warrick told him, his voice still slightly shaky. "She left already."

"No…" He whispered and Warrick could not catch him before he fell to the ground on his knees. "I can't let her leave. Not without…I can't lose her like this Warrick!" Grissom shouted, and was starting to panic slightly. "God I'm such an idiot! Fuck!" Warrick had never heard Grissom curse, and knew that he needed a good punch in the gut, literally. Warrick dropped the umbrella and punched Grissom, sending Grissom into the glass wall of the entrance. Gil seemed in a daze for a moment and frowned as he looked at Warrick with a bleeding lip. And when Gil stood up, Warrick knew he was lost. Warrick's heart broke for the man in turmoil in front of him, and the woman in denial, now driving to the ever-full McCarran Airport. He wanted so much for Catherine to be happy, and if Gil Grissom was what it took, then Warrick would make sure that she had him.

"Look, Gris. If you love her, and I'm pretty sure you do, go now! Don't waste any time here saying to yourself that you're an idiot because we already know that! Go, and catch her before she leaves! God damn it man! Why couldn't you tell her you loved her?" The two men were now completely drenched, and Gil spat the blood onto the already wet pavement, his blood now following a trail down the drain. "Punch me, man! Get yourself together!" Gil reeled back and gave a hard punch to Warrick, and Warrick steadied himself on the car that he was just pushed into. The two men stood still in the rain, staring. Warrick knew he had gotten a point across, and they both faintly smiled.

"Warrick. Take care of things while I'm gone."

"Done."

**Chapter 19: Jesus Take the Wheel**

When Gil got into the car, his first thought was to drive like he had never driven to McCarran where he just might let the biggest mistake of his life, fly away. And although Gil felt absolutely hopeless, he started the ignition and squealed out of the lab, drawing a smile from Warrick's face. Warrick sighed as he looked to the ground. He just hoped Gil would get to Catherine in time and that they would work things out. Because no matter how Warrick felt about Catherine, he knew she'd never return it.

Gil hoped he wouldn't be pulled over, and was prepared to lie if need be. He dodged cars and switched lanes whenever possible, and within a record time of 20 minutes, he was there. He left the car on the road, and dashed in, rain water occasionally dripping from his clothes. He ran to the first television he saw and looked up Miami as the destination. He looked at his watch. The plane he looked at was leaving in 10 minutes, and they were now boarding. Gil flashed his ID and shouted LVPD and he didn't even stop to look at the stunned woman in the customs area, who cringed from the alarm that told her Gil was carrying something metallic. When he reached the gate, he looked around him; the gate was closed. He closed his eyes as he sighed and walked to the nearest chair before he literally fell into it. He put his head in his hands and sighed again.

He wasn't a man of many mistakes but he had made the universal mistake that all fools made; he had fallen in love and he was just watching it fly away in a metal box with the name American Airlines printed on it. He didn't know what to feel, what to think, and what to do next. Would he go to work now, everything back to normal? Or would be grieve in his "hermetically-sealed condo" and drink bottles and bottles of alcohol until he actually couldn't feel anymore. He opted for the latter, but he had lost all his energy, and Gil thought he just might die, for he thought he lost his reason to live. He lay down on the seat and stared into the ceiling. Drinking wouldn't make it go away, she had said. So he made a resolution now, to never drink.

He knew he could do anything, and would do anything if he could reverse time. Time affected the ultimate outcome of this thing called love. He knew that as time had passed, he had fallen for Catherine more and more and cursed himself for letting it happen that way. Then he realized that he still hadn't read her letter. He groaned, and felt a similar rumble in the pit of his body but this time it him harder. Tears freely flowed out of his eyes, and he had no way to stop them.

Gil didn't know how long he had been there, but he realized that the sky had gotten slightly darker, and it was turning a mocking shade of purple and orange. He could see the moon quite clearly, and for the first time he realized why some people called the moon, 'lonely'. He then felt his beeper vibrate, and he moved his arm for the first time in hours, and felt around for it. He lifted it to his head and saw a number he was familiar with; Jim's. Gil held the beeper as tight as he could and let out a shout as he threw the beeper as hard as he could, and heard it land and break. She had told him to lift his head out of the microscope every now and then, so occasionally, he decided that he would throw the microscope aside. He heard a faint announcement on the PA, but it did not register as he heard people move towards the gate he was currently at. He knew it must be another flight coming in and sat up.

"Gil?"

At first, he thought he was hallucinating, so he just shook his head and didn't bother to turn around.

"Gil, is that you?" Without thinking much longer, he turned around and there she was, standing behind him, with her purse tucked under her arm. He laughed, and tilted his head.

"Am I really seeing you or am I just crazy?" Gil said, and he knew she was truly there, for she smiled. He got up, and gingerly walked over to her, all of a sudden becoming nervous all over again.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, frowning slightly and gesturing at the gate. He sighed, and this time, he knew better. He stared into her eyes with a seriousness that he knew he carried with him in interrogations.

"To hold you back."

**Chapter 20: Dancing Alone**

When Catherine had seen the back of Gil's head, her legs had slightly given way and she had held herself up with her luggage bag. She stood there for several moments, and all the world stopped in front of her eyes. She only saw Gil, and she could hear her breathing echoing in her ear.

She had gone home from the lab to make sure all her stuff was ready, and Lindsey was ready to go. She had chosen the later flight in the day, just in case she switched her mind at any point. Catherine had sat in her living room, still as it always had been. Her mother offered to do all the moving later on, which was convenient for Catherine. She sat on her sofa, staring outside the window and wondered if the phone would ever ring.

Gil was never a social person; she knew that by heart. But she never thought that he wouldn't even give her a call, when she had been his best friend and here she was, leaving not to return. She wondered if he'd ever call her, and hoped to God he would, because she knew she'd never have the courage to call him up and explain the reasons for her brisk departure. She had rummaged through her purse and fished out her ticket, and had stared at it for a long time. Should she rip it up, and drive to the lab to tell him the truth? Or should she just move on, hoping that someday everything will work itself out? She made a few last calls, and just before sunset, she locked the door for what she thought would be the last time and left to the airport. As soon as the mother and daughter had checked in with customs, Lindsey headed to the internet lounge.

Catherine knew Lindsey was not happy with her for moving so suddenly, but Lindsey had not complained a lot, as if she could sense the absolute storm raging in Catherine's mind. Lindsey tried not to set Catherine off, and the best way to do that was to leave Catherine alone with her thoughts.

Catherine had gathered up every bit of courage she ever had, and had called out his name. When he didn't answer, she almost lost all hope. She called his name again, this time slightly calmer and when he looked back at her, she couldn't help but smile.

"Am I really seeing you or am I just crazy?" His question almost sent her over the edge, and she wanted to cry, but she refrained. He had walked towards her gingerly, and Catherine didn't realize how much in the last few hours she had missed him. She wanted to throw herself into her arms, as Gil looked like he was in absolute disarray. His eyes were blood-shot, his clothes were wrinkled, and he had marks on his face that told her he had been lying on the chairs.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, and although she should have known the answer, she didn't and was waiting patiently, thinking he was going to take a while. But she suddenly sensed his seriousness, and she felt it. She realized that love was not about knowing but feeling, and she felt the minute she had been waiting for push its way through the long line of events that were lined up to happen to her, and appear in front of her eyes in the form of Gil Grissom.

"To hold you back."

**Chapter 21: Fool the World**

"To hold me back?" She asked, and when she did her heart paused.

"I can't let you go like this, Catherine." He added, taking a closer step towards her. "Please…don't leave." This sounded more like a plead than a command, and Catherine felt sorry for Gil.

"Gil…I…I can't…"

"Is there anything I can say to hold you back?" He asked, and she thought about Warrick. She just sighed and looked to her feet, not saying no. She was fidgeting, avoiding his gaze. "What if I said…that…" Gil stopped, and Catherine wondered if he would do the exact same thing as the last two times.

As Gil stopped, he drew a breath. He was determined that he wouldn't make himself look like a fool. Then he decided that even if Catherine rejected him now, he'd give it a try, because he knew he'd be hitting himself over the head if he hadn't. Gil knew love took courage, and this time, he wanted to make up for the many times that courage had failed him, and love almost did, as a consequence.

"What if I said…What if I said I loved you?" Gil noticed that Catherine froze in the midst of her fidgeting and her face slowly rose to look into his eyes.

"You…you love me?"

"Yeah…too much that it's almost dangerous." He replied, feeling less burdened that he had gotten the point across and now all he had to do was confess. "I can't think of anything else but you, and…I can't get any work done!" He shouted, and she opened her mouth to say something but she closed it again, signalling Gil to continue. "Look…I'm so sorry that I had to tell you this now, here, and under these circumstances. It's…I'm asking you a lot here and I know that. I know I told you that…I had had feelings for you in the past, and it all went away when I was with Sara, but…you know it never did. When I was with Sara, I was never happy, and it's part of the reason why Sara was so unhappy with me." Gil added, and Catherine's mouth opened agape at Gil's honesty, and realized that he was in it deep, perhaps even deeper than her. "I understand if you want to leave, but just…say it straight to my face that you don't feel the same way I do. Then I won't have any regrets. I just….I just couldn't pretend like nothing was wrong anymore." He stared at her with the saddest look on his face and Catherine thought she might cry.

"Gil! How can you be so blind!" She started to cry. Confused, Gil just took her in his arms, and she kept hitting him. "How can I be so dumb!" He frowned, still not getting what she was trying to tell him. "Gil I've…I've had feelings for you the moment we met, and…I don't believe this!" Gil pulled her out of his arms and looked at her with wide eyes.

"You love me too?" He asked.

"Yes, god damn it!" She started to laugh and cry at the same time, and Gil now put his arms around her. Strangely enough, laughter did not come out of either of them as they silently embraced, Catherine still crying. Gil shuddered as he sighed a sigh of utter relief and he was at a loss for words. "We've been running around like fools!" Catherine exclaimed, wiping her eyes.

"In a maze." He added, and she raised an eyebrow. "Because God knows why, I've been so lost without you and all I could see was my dishonest, pathetic self. But here I am, at the end of it all." He told her, and she thought she just might be the happiest woman on earth right this moment.

"What made you keep going, Gil?" She asked, her finger running over his eyebrow.

"The same thing that made you keep going." He replied, and he waited.

"I just couldn't forget you, Gil Grissom. I couldn't forget you for the world." She replied and put her forehead against his, breathing deeply.

"Catherine Willows, it's impossible for me to forget to remember you." He added, and when the last boarding call for Miami came on the PA, Catherine Willows did not rush to the gate as she headed back to a Las Vegas that seemed all too different, with the two people whom she loved the most in the world, in tow.

**Epilogue: Nonetheless**

"I know…no, I love you more. No, I love you more."

Greg was talking to his girlfriend, Charlotte, on the cell phone when he walked towards Grissom's office, and when he stopped briefly at the door, his jaw almost dropped to the floor. The team had just all filed back to the lab from the crime scene and someway or another, Catherine and Grissom had gone missing the moment they had left the car.

"Hey, Char? I'll call you right back. I think I'm about to catch history." Greg hung up, ran back to the locker room, and fished out a camera that he always kept in the top shelf of his locker just in case anything was worthy of a picture, and Grissom had not disappointed him. He grinned and ran back to the office, stopping abruptly at the door, just to make sure it was still going on. He knew he was witnessing something that he may never witness until much later, and he felt privileged.

Gil Grissom, the supervisor of the graveyard shift of the second most prominent lab in the country, was standing up, but leaning on the edge of his desk. But all that was visible of him were his feet, lower legs, arms up to the elbow, his shoulders and his black CSI cap. Greg was not disappointed in not being able to see all of Grissom, because Catherine Willows was in the way, standing between Grissom's legs, and that was never a bad thing. All Greg could peek at was her strawberry blonde hair and the whole backside of her. Her arms were wound around Grissom's neck, and Greg snickered; the two were…how should he say, snogging? No, "snogging" didn't do them justice. Just plain old make-out.

Greg had to admit, they had the patience that Greg would never have. If Gil loved Catherine as much as Greg thought he did…Greg shook his head and turned his attention to the couple before him. Greg's eyes widened as Gil's hands slid casually down Catherine's back pockets. Their heads were moving in unison from side to side and Greg started to get uncomfortable.

"What you up to now, dude?" It was Nick's booming Texan voice and Greg shushed him with his index finger. Greg pointed at the office door, his own lips and made a C with his fingers. Nick's eyes widened and a huge grin appeared on his face. "You're kidding me!" Nick whispered and Greg grinned again, and it almost hurt his jaw.

"What are you two trouble-makers doing now?" It was Brass's tenor voice ringing out from the end of the hall, and Nick and Greg simultaneously raised their index fingers to their lips and Jim's left eyebrow went up all the way. Greg never thought of Jim Brass to be someone like himself, but was proved wrong as he saw Jim point at the door then his own lips. Greg nodded, and Jim tried not to laugh. Thinking they should take the chance Greg raised his hand and his fingers were counting down. 4, 3, 2, 1. The three full-grown male adults burst into the room, grinning like Kindergarten boys finding new toys to play with, and Catherine let out a quiet yelp.

The flash on Greg's camera went off before Catherine could move off of Gil and kept going off until she was fully turned around. The three men were laughing and smiling until their faces were red. Catherine crossed her arms and shook her head. '

"Don't you guys have anything better to do?" She asked, slightly annoyed that they interrupted her pleasant..."conversation" with Gil. "I mean…this is just pathetic."

"I'm sorry, Catherine…but it was too good to pass by!" Greg tried to keep himself in check but failed miserably as he had to lean on Nick to keep himself up. Jim and Nick were wiping tears from their eyes and letting out the pent up laughter that the halls of the Crime Lab had so lacked in recent times. "I mean…when do we get to see Grissom make out with someone?"

"Well, I think you'll be seeing more of it, so…" Gil hadn't spoken since the three men burst into his once-tranquil office, and he looked at them from behind Catherine. He put his arms around Catherine's waist and winked at them. "I've changed, you see." This surprised everyone else in the room, including Catherine who was now flushed pink, immediately silencing them. "So it's not like you caught something really special, but I have to admit…it was for a good cause, wasn't it Catherine?"

"Um…yeah…sure." Catherine muttered, and sighed as Gil drew her further back into his arms. Jim cleared his throat, now completely awkward as he loosened his tie.

"You know, it must be really hot in here. I'm…going to head out…and…I'll um…just…be in the break room…you know…till you guys are done." Greg muttered and Nick nodded enthusiastically in agreement. The three men filed out as unannounced as they had come, and Catherine smiled.

"Did you really have to scare them like that?" Catherine asked, now completely revelling in the comfort of his arms, and closing her eyes.

"I didn't mean to scare them…I just…I told them the truth." He replied, making Catherine turn around. "You have to admit…I have changed, and changed _a lot._"

"You have…for the better." She replied and smiled. She frowned at the black awkward CSI cap and smiling, she turned it so that it was backwards. "It was hurting my forehead." They both laughed, as their foreheads came together and for the first time Gil felt comfortable with how close he was to this woman before him and he knew she was _the _one as they often called it on TV. "So where were we?" She asked, locking her arms around his neck again. Catherine loved how she could be herself around him, without having to think what her outfit looked like that night, or what colour eye-shadow matched her shoes.

"Right where we're meant to be." Gil replied and he was rewarded with continuation of something just briefly lost in a moment.


End file.
